Don't Get Me Started ...
Pet Peeves of Summer
July 19, 2011It’s no secret that I love dogs. Not the kind on two legs, who, for some reason I continuously manage to wind up dating, but the four legged kind. You know, the fuzzy ones with the big brown liquidy eyes that have more depth of feeling in them than the most passionate of poetry; the ones with the tail that wags like it has a life of its own at the silky toned kind words of a human; the ones we create parks for, buy balls for and some of us…ugh!...dress in little sweaters and tutus. Hello, people. These beings wear fur far more beautiful than anything that really is meant to cover the human body. And PS? They don’t need boots or four little Air Jordans or what have you. Just sayin’…but I digress…
So it’s summer—one of the hottest ones I can remember. “What does this have to do with dogs, aside from the fact we call them the ‘dog days?” you ask. Well. I’ll tell you….but you kind of knew that, didn’t you?
Let me start with what I have personally witnessed. And feel free to chime in here anytime. On my daily tours of duty sweating down M Street, 14th Street, Connecticut Avenue, U Street…just to name a few, I have watched pet owners tie their ever faithful furry companions outside stores, cafes, and coffee shops. While I’m thrilled that people are taking their pets for a walk and want them by their side, is it just me or is it just a little disturbing..no…a lot, when these poor things are left out in this heat without benefit of at least water? I ask you, when was the last time you saw a canine sidle up to a water fountain, hit the button and drink or duck into the local convenience store for a frosty bottle of H2O and a pack of cigs at its own behest?
Don’t get me wrong, not everyone with a puppy does this and many places offer bowls of water for folks with pets in front of their establishments. Kudos to you, caring business owners. Kudos, too, for those majority of doggie daddies and mommies who are aware of the panting pet and offer everything from glasses of cool water to having it licked directly out of their cupped hands. But I have also seen those who sit by their own poor, sweltering animals--their bodies clad in fur, with a core temperature of 101.5 degrees-- while the dog desperately pants away. All this while they enjoy a full bottle of icy water on their restaurant table. Really?? Listen, Bucko, how would you like it if I put you in a canoe in the middle of the Potomac, surrounded by fluid, none of it drinkable, and left you out there in 90+ degree weather with the sun beating down, covered with a fur coat, while I sat by sipping iced tea on the river’s edge for an hour or two? I’m not even going to mention the car—that’s something, I hope at this point, is obvious enough.
These creatures are not independent. They are in many ways like the infant that never grows up, and they want nothing more than to please their owners. I think that kind of selflessness deserves at least some consideration of their comfort and health. They would do that for you.
Oh, Garcon, may I have another ice cube for my drink and a couple to go for my cat and dog, who, on a fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk day like today, I had the good sense to kiss goodbye and leave in the comfort of my air conditioned home. Truly, the only good kind of hot dogs in DC are the ones at Ben's.
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Trumped
May 24, 2011Does it seem like it was just yesterday that we were renting out our homes and condos, lamenting purple tickets, being stopped on the street every 10 steps and asked for directions to The Mall, and admiring the new First Lady’s arm tone? Here it comes—the dawn of another election cycle.
You’ve gotta love this one. Where else but America could we have this year’s burgeoning cast of office-vying characters be punctuated by a PR op? Oh, Donald Trump—I doff my cap to you….and just so you know, even your seeking the highest office in the country couldn’t make me watch Celebrity Apprentice. But thanks for playing. You’re fired.
Although skewering The Donald is fun, there’s a larger picture that perhaps lends itself to some scrutiny. With the advent of social media, reality programs and ever present hype comes the manufactured celebrity and a medium that immediately allows just about anyone to broadcast themselves to fame through the internet, the airwaves, etc.; as Trump used, of all things, a Presidential bid to gain himself a ton of attention (as shocking as it is that The Donald would be an attention hoochie, I know). I’m thinking that perhaps, like ‘impersonating a police officer’ is against the law, why isn’t it at the very least a misdemeanor to waste our valuable time with phony, self serving presidential bids—‘impersonating a serious candidate,' crazy rants and personal sniping? Actual credible journalists have taken up pages of valuable print media and hours of broadcast time analyzing, researching and reporting on this. Granted, the public…well…some of the public…is not deluded enough to think he was actually serious, but does it bother anyone out there just a little that so much attention was focused on this?
That being said, I, for one, am disappointed it was more or less a hoax. Imagine what we missed! Hold onto your hanging chads…. The tax dollars that would have been spent on plastic surgery; flocked wallpaper in the Lincoln bedroom; expletive laden State of the Union Addresses; gold plate on the White House columns; Versace fountains; Federal holidays for Fashion Week and Presidential tea-cup dogs, at least one of which would have to be named something like “Schmoopie.” The VP could have been selected by a panel of celebrity judges—competition nationally broadcast, of course, in a 13-part series with challenges that include reupholstering the seats on the House floor and motorcade races. Now THAT’S entertainment. The hair alone would have given late-night comics enough ammunition for a good two terms at the very least.
All kidding aside…if I was kidding…and I’ll leave that to the reader to decide, aside from the fact that I must make the disclaimer that I am a little bitter about his not adopting me and leaving me a little something in his will, this man has done everything from call Obama’s birth certificate into question to manipulate pressrooms for personal advancement. Is this the first time something like that has happened? Well…no. Not by a long-shot. But perhaps we might consider that it’s a little scary that he got away with this with pretty much only some minor lampooning, while hiding under the banner of it being the American way. I reiterate, Donald, you’re fired.
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Osama Bin Laden, like Franco, remains dead
May 7, 2011I know what it’s like to be in hell. On a beautiful spring-like morning, September 11, 2001, I was standing by the World Trade Center when the world seemingly exploded. Those of you who were there or near the Pentagon or watching the entire horrific situation unfold on TV don’t need to be told what happened. Frankly, I don’t want to go back to that place in my head. It traumatizes me and many others to this minute. For those that lost friends and family—my sincerest sympathies. There are many in great pain caused by the actions of that infamous day.
Fast forward to a rainy and overcast May 1, 2011. May Day. I think most of us heard the news through social networking. Tweeted, Facebooked--choose your poison. Osama Bin Laden had been killed. News crews swung into action and crowds of thousands descended upon the White House. As I sat with friends watching it all unfold on the tube, I was momentarily caught up in the collective rapture. It was a knee jerk reaction; like someone tickled that little vengeance cog in my psyche with a feather. Come on—we all felt it…for a moment. Then cooler heads prevailed—at least in some of us.
As I watched the myriad of replays the next day, and took in the endless parade of security experts spouting their theories, I was also struck by the call for a photo…proof of the personal carnage. I, like most of us, heard stomach-turning descriptions of what the body looked like; we were treated to living color video of the blood stained bunker floors. Is it me or did we become like a crowd in Medieval Europe yelling ‘off with their heads’ or like the throng in the Colossueum watching lions devour human beings?
Yes—I hear you. All those who are now thinking I’m being self righteous and preachy, raise your hands. That may be so. Those of you that are mumbling under their breath about this left leaning, flaming heart liberal…well, guilty-more or less. Do I think Bin Laden should have some comfy room in a military prison with 24/7 guards? No. I can honestly say I won’t miss him. That doesn’t make me a good person—but it’s honest. With that, I also salute our servicemen and women that bravely serve, many, because there was a Bin Laden—including, of course, those that risk their lives to bring these terrorists to some kind of justice—whatever that may be; and their families who must be brave for them. I have siblings and children. I cannot imagine what that must be like.
But there’s another factor one might want to consider. The death of one lunatic despot who has no regard for human life does not bring those lost back. It’s worth taking a moment to consider that for every one of these devils that is gone, another seems to pop up in their place. They seem to repopulate faster than rabbits—and each one seems just a little more sinister than the one before. This is one man gone. For every one of him there are thousands more.
Do I think we should live our lives looking over our shoulders? Hell no! But I do think it is worth considering what motivates all sides. This has been a question for the ages—it’s just that the firepower has become more and more sophisticated. Sinister, unfortunately, has always been around. On the bright side, so has benevolence. It might behoove us to look at the big picture and consider exactly for what, though, we’re all cheering.
Sermon over.
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